Simple Math

2 Cyclone players combined for 42 points in Lincoln.

The other 11 Cyclone players combined for 19 points in Lincoln.

That simple math sums up ISU's struggles all season, and nothing will change until the math improves.

Peter

Roadie Winner

Its always good to see a Cyclone team win a road game. The ladies were up 18 at one point in the second half after a 25-5 run. Ouch.

That will make the 7.5 hour flight from Lubbock to Ames a little shorter.

Peter

Same Song

I was very impressed with the discipline ISU displayed Tuesday. They kept running their stuff on both ends, and it worked for once. They also avoided playing to Baylor's strengths, which was the key.

A little affirmation that their schemes can work probably made a big difference in practice this week.

Still, I assume ISU will be just good enough to find a way to lose at a$m. Decent inside play will doom them, as if wearing the red jerseys isn't enough.

Peter

Sage

There are an infinite number of external forces that determine if a QB will be successful- coaching, talent, ability to run the ball, skill players who can catch a ball, play calling, OL talent and scheme, a head coach who won't get the hook at the first INT, etc.

Sage has certainly earned a starting job somewhere, and if the Viking O Line can give him any kind of protection, I think he will surprise folks.

Not bad for a kid who got all of one schollie offer as a HS senior. Funny how that works.

Peter

Giving It Away

Both the basketball teams lost games they shouldn't have this weekend, both for the same reasons: they couldn't score when they needed it.

While the men losing at home is no surprise (if they are consistent at anything it is folding down the stretch) the women are a surprise. While KU can shoot well, they are in last place with only two wins before today. Trailing most of the way, the ladies missed all of the key shots late.

The ladies loss may be extremely costly. Due to tiebreakers, ISU was in solid position to earn a first-round bye for the B12 tourney, a huge advantage. Now, they will need to win out, especially in Lubbock, to avoid playing on Thursday and what would probably be a second round game against a fresh OU crew.

If ISU ends up playing on Thursday, the loss in Lawrence may be the reason.

Peter

FAIL

What he said.

Peter

Why Not?

In what may be one of the shortest press releases ever, ISU announces open tryouts for the FB team.

I see no downside to this.

There is probably some talent wandering around campus, especially if they played JUCO or were a decent HS player but never thought they would have a shot at DI. If even a handful of guys can provide practice depth, scout team, whatever, we're better for it. Tryouts should become a tradition, because a school like ISU will need its fair share of walkons to be successful in the long run.

Think of the cult status a kid will recieve if he goes from stands to starter in a season or two.

Peter

Roller Derby

While I think BF's crew choked down the stretch with a missed 1-1 and three bad offensive possesions down the stretch, most of the loss can be laid at the feet of the officials.

I doubt anyone on the ISU squad would start for UT, and yet they led virtually the entire game. They simply outplayed UT on both ends of the court, but couldn't finish.

Had the game been called the same as a men's game, and without the constant hand-checks on the guards and roller derby in the lane, ISU wins going away.

Sad.

On a side note, if there is any athletic department in the nation that has the coin to pony up pink road unis for a fundraiser game, it's Texas. T-shirts don't cut it, horns. Weak.

Peter

Slumpbuster

Way to put it out of reach early, and keep the pedal on the floor.

The boys are going to need that kind of performance to leave Stillwater with a W.

For one night, we celebrate. We're #11!

Peter

Dedication

If the ISU athletic program is going to cement its status as the Worst Athletics in the Big 12, McDermott's crew is going to have to really buckle down and focus: there's a lot of basketball games to lose.

First off, losing at home to Colorado Tuesday is critical to the team's last place dreams. Losing any potential tiebreakers with the other team battling for last place is imperative.

Second, continue to be a one-trick-pony of offense. Give Brackins no reason to return by hardly matching his offensive totals each night. Nothing says "lousy" like a team with only one decent player.

Third, continue to rebound light Junior High Boys. Rebounds are the big, strong and determined, which is not you.

Fourth, continue to wilt under pressure. If you find yourself with the lead, fritter it away. Play as if you've never experienced on-ball pressure before. Dribbling off your collective foot is one of your strengths- keep it up.

Finally, remember your station in the league. No school in the XII spends less money on sports than ISU, so it shouldn't come as a surprise to get last-place results. This is what is expected of you, so focus and deliver.

The football team did its part- now its your turn.

Peter

Point Of Reference

McDermott and Mizzou's Anderson were hired the same year.

Slightly different results at this point.

Peter

Booted

Performances like this do little to sway those Texans who want to boot ISU from the XII for a school with a better athletic program.

Like Rice.

Peter

Helpfull

Given how each coach's team has been equally stinky, Lickliter and McDermott had better be on each others Christmas card lists. The lousy performance by one lessens the likelihood of the other being canned Tom Davis style.

Peter

228

ISU's combined Sagarin ranking for FB and MBB is 228- #114 twice. That's #11 in the B12.

CU is actually worse at 264- but we can't beat them in either sport, so we may just be #12.

We're getting what we pay for.

Peterclone

Settling

So, if we hold McDermott to the same standard as McCarney, close doesn't count, right?

Moral victories are for losers, or so the Big Money folks tell me.

Peterclone

Magic

Of course, this is exactly the kind of day Hilton Magic would pick for a reappearance: struggling team coming off a horrendous road loss, awesome visitor who is probably looking past, total mismatch on talent, Cyclones have no chance.

The whole premise of Hilton Magic wasn't that ISU won every game at home but that they won the unlikely game where they played far above the norm at home, and usually far below it on the road. The visitors consistently performed at a lower level than normal to help the effort.

I'm not putting my dollar on it- just sayin' today is the perfect scenario.

Peterclone

Missing Bits

Late in the loss against KU ESPN played highlights of ISU's last win over the Jayhawks, and it became very apparrent what was missing in today's loss: stady play at the point and outside shooting.

Self used on of BF's favorite tricks: let the opponent's best palyer shoot at will, but lock up everyone else. The odds say one player can't win it by themselves, but two can.

Game over.

Our Cyclones played hard, and defended well- KU just couldn't miss. Every turnover turned into a dunk, and that was the difference. More learnin' to do.

Peterclone

Quality

Gobla fan reminds us that quality teams don't get blown out in the second half of road games.

They are so helpful.

Peterclone

Experience

Does it strike anyone as odd how rarely an assistant with no head coaching experience is handed the top basketball job in a power conference, yet it happens all the time in football- including ISU?

Given the money involved, it seems like the basketball job is the place to take a chance and require head experience on some level for the football gig.

But what do I know? I'm just a guy in the upper deck.

Peterclone

Memories

Do you remember when SUI fired their hoops coach because the team in Ames was winning so much it was stealing the limelight?

That feels like a lifetime ago.

The roadie to Mizzou was exactly the kind of performance Greg needed to show everyone that he's getting the job done.

Peterclone

Random Thought

I can't wait to hear BF's take on the Chizick fiasco during next summer's coaches tour. That should be worth ten minutes by itself.

Peterclone

Boozing

I'm finding the whole Podolak situation quite funny, since the hypocrisy is overwhelming.

Iowa City literally revolves around getting drunk. Walk around the ped mall on a Friday and you understand why SUI has a Party School reputation around the Big 1011. It's no accident that the drunk guy in an Iowa sweatshirt is a punchline in Chicago. Iowa City without alcohol is Webster City.

If the SUI administration was really serious about changing the image of the school for the better they would declare the campus- especially the parking lots around Kinnick- dry. The school would demand the wink-wink-nudge-nudge "19 ordinance" be repealed, and the police crack down on underage drinking they way they do in Ames. Make IC so boring New Liberty looks like New Orleans.

Until then it's all lip service, and Ed was the fall guy. Good for him for saying F.U. to the hypocrisy. That will buy him a few drinks from the fan base at his next tailgate.

Peterclone

Step Forward

If our Cyclones are going to have an interesting season, they need to win as many home games as possible, and beat the beatable teams every time. Tonight fit both categories.

While its no fun watching a 13 point lead dissapear, but finishing on a 10-0 run to win makes up for it.

A sweep of NU/CU/KSU would be a really good base to build on.

We'll know a lot more about our guys when they return from Columbia.

Peterclone

Hlas nails BCS BS

Hlas shows how silly a non-playoff world is.

Darn silly, I tell ya!

Peterclone

Offensive Plans

I think the hiring of Tom Herman as OC is a good one.

Having
coached at Rice, he understands how to succeed despite having less
talent that the opponent. You also have to understand how to use the
talent you have, not assuming you've assembled a Fantasy College team,
or that the talent at, say, Texas is the same as whats inAmes and the problems are just in the schemes.

Honestly, as long as they look like they know what they are doing and aren't burning TOs on 2-4 at their own 40 because they couldn't get the play in, I'll be happy.

The
stat geeks will have to help me, but I have a hunch that if your
offense can average an additional 7 points per game, your defense will
automatically be 7 points better, too. The fewer 3-and-outs you have,
the fewer bad spots your defense is put in, and that sort of thing.

Now for the most important hire: DC. That's where long-term success for this program lies.

Peterclone

Pizza Pit

I don't know if it is reassuring or unerving that Pizza Pit in Ames hasn't redecorated their dining room since it opened in 198x. The art was dated when I worked there in '92, and it doesn't look any better now.

For comparison, Cy's Roost, the original beer hall, has reconfigured itself at least three times since then.

The sandwiches were still good.

Peterclone

Thoughts From A Doubleheader

I attended both ends of the basketball doubleheader in Ames Saturday, and as both teams won, we had fun. Some thoughts:

- Nothing I stated a year ago has changed. Rough play makes WBB really hard to watch. Like in hockey, letting the goons do what they want takes the skill players out of the game, an drives fan from your now ugly sport. The Vandy game was hideous to watch.

- I have to dissagree with how BF handles Vandy's press down the stretch. They refused to attack and punish Vandy's agression, and it almost won the game for Vandy.

- The staff did a tremendous job shutting down Vandy's #2 scorer. I read the preview after the game, and was shocked that a player who looked like she had no offensive skills was actually one of their stars. She also sported an awful set of cornrows.

- If Vandy is ranked, ISU can be really, really good by March.

- I like what facilities has done with the various banners in the rafters of Hilton.

- The MBB team looked like they needed a blowout, and it was fun to watch them deliver.

- Hat tip to Hilton staff for letting those in the balcony come down to the good seats when it was obvious most of the paid tickets were iced in at home. I recall a similar situation during the Orr years when a huge blizzard kept 6,000 at home. Those who made it saw a great win over the Gophers. The balcony buyers make more noise per person.

Peteclone

I'm Bored

I told you the Gobla game would be over early.

No other games for 90 minutes? The Horror!

We need to move a couple of games back to NYD.

Looks like its the Saved By The Bell marathon for me.

Peterclone

NYD

The good news about the Goblas playing the early game Thursday is that the game will be over in plenty of time to take a nap. I mean it will be over by halftime.

The Carolina offense is atrocious. SUI's second score will be the winning score. Yes it will be that ugly.

I say 24-7, but it will feel like 44-7. Gobla fan will act like they won the NC.

Peterclone

Indy

Since the bottom half of both the B12 and SEC stunk, Shreveport got to host two teams who actually appreciate a trip there: La Tech and N. Illinois. Good for everybody.

Honestly, I would rather watch two good teams from mid-majors than a #6 vs. a #7 from BCS leagues.

Peterclone

Crazy

Just when you are ready to mentally prepare yourself for another Sucktastic hoops season, our Clonies pull this rabbit out of their hat.

Then again, when one guy busts loose for 38, you should probably win, but still.

Unfortunately, this win may only perpetuate the "Wait for Steiger or Brackins to make a play" syndrome. Remember how Alford built a team around Luke Recker
that was never as good as its parts? They stood around waiting for Luke
to make the stud play, and often lost because of it. We might have the
same situation on our hands.

Whatever was in your Gatorade today, boys, keep drinking it.

Peterclone

Stationary

Well, if a loss to SDSU doesn't suck all of the momentum out of your program, I don't know what will.

To sasy there's a bit of work to do between now and the B12 openere would be an understatement.

Peterclone

Rhodes

My initial reaction to Paul is positive- not overwhelming, but positive. His biggest stregnth is that he knows what he is getting himself into in every respect- facilities, talent, expectatioins, budget, weather.

Keeler hits an important point: PR has to hire really solid guys in the OC and DC department. Gene messed those up, and it showed. KF nailed them, and it shows.

In a way, the next couple of weeks will go a long way towards determining if PR succeeds or fails.

Peterclone

News

I've been off the grid the last 36 hours. Did I miss anything?

Peterclone

Interviews

Various sites are reporting Gill isn't interested. I'm not surprised- ISU isn't much of a step up from where his Buffalo program is now.

Sagarin has UB #55, ISU #113. Why should he start over from (percieved) scratch?

Granted, ISU probably has more "upside", but Gill doesn't have to take the first bus out of Buffalo, unlike Gene.

Besides, we shoudl probably accept that perhaps Gene is just one of those rare people who kills interviews, and then crashes at whatever he gets hired to do. A friend of mine just fired someone who 6 months ago gave the best interview he had ever witnessed.

It happens. Perhaps Gene pulled another brilliant performance out of his visor.


Peterclone

Thanks, Ron

Ron Maly thinks ISU football is so pathetic we should just hire a High School coach.

Why would anyone have ever given Ron flak about being an Gobla fan when he was employed?

Peterclone

Stepping Stone

Keeler wonders if we would be happy being a stepping stone, or if we will insist on a "I-want-to-retire-here" guy.

I see nothing wrong being a stepping stone. It would be better than what we have now.

Keeler does raise a good point: ISU is one of the toughest public university gigs among the BCS schools. The meek need not apply.

Peterclone

Chizik/Auburn nuggets

The Wizard of Odds has several http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifinteresting links surrounding Chizik, Gill, ISU and Auburn.

Good post here, too.

Gill would be a great match, and not in a token way.

Peterclone

ISU Post Chizik

An excellent post by Hlas.

He has a pretty good grasp on the pre-Chizik scene, and how it plays out now.

I don't keep tabs on how many open jobs we are competing with, but it doesn't feel like too many.

Peterclone

Another Upgrade

I don't know my aircraft, but I'm confident that Auburn owns at least one more jet than Iowa State.

Peterclone

Upgrade

I can't emphasize enough that being considered a stepping stone job would be an upgrade for ISU football.

Peterclone

Trust

I'm having a hard time swallowing all the complains about Gene "abusing our trust". We all abuse everyone's trust.

We fired Dan with four years left on his contract, and plenty of folks wanted him gone before that. Where was the trust?

Suppose Gene had a breakout year this year: We pull out the tight ones against SUI, UNLV and KU, are 5-0 and are the talk of the league. Not only would Gene have left anyway, but you can bet that Jamie would have been shopping his resume, too. Where's the trust there?

As far as players leaving, we all have only one thing to trust: that athletes are at ISU for their sport and nothing else. Average athletes will look at academics, campus life, etc. when making a school choice; great athletes will look at their sport and their sport only when choosing. The fact we have guys thinking about leaving tells me Gene and crew were on the right track in recruiting.

Finally, any booster who was withholding donations until football improved but is taking Gene's departure personally is a hypocrite, and should understand why.

Peterclone

Stepping Stone

Ten years from now, if ISU Football isn't being described as "regional power", my next hope would be "Stepping stone for coaches".

I wouldn't view that as a slam. Traditionally, your coach gets hired away only after you win a bunch of games. If you lose two or three coaches in a row to better gigs, it means you have won a pile of football games.

The fact that Gene lost 3.75 games for every one he won wasn't a deal breaker for Auburn makes this an anomaly, an outlier.

From here, I have a hard time seeing how becoming a stepping stone wouldn't be an improvement.

Peterclone

Bright Side

The coaching search will distract us from lousy basketball for a few weeks.

Peterclone

Why Not This Guy?

Short track record, but this guy certainly knows how to win without 4-star talent.

Think outside the box, folks.

Peterclone

Awesome Wikipedia Snark

I'll assume it will be changed soon, so here's the quote:

On December 13, 2008, the Iowa State Director of Athletics confirmed the un-official reports that Chizik had accepted the vacant head coaching position at Auburn University. During Chizik's interview with Auburn Athletic Director Jay Jacobs, he wore a tie with football prints on it. Jacobs was so impressed with this tie that he offered Chizik the head coaching job immediately. On the day that he was hired Chizik announced that the tie will become the official tie of Auburn University Athletics. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a6/Coach_Gene_Chizik_-_Iowa_State_University.jpg

That's quality snark.

Peterclone

Prediciable

I can guarantee that Gene will be a huge, raging success at Auburn.

Accepting the football gig in Ames has two outcomes: you either get hired by a better college gig and win a mess of games, or you are fired and never take another college head coaching job:

Johnny Majors: National Champs at Pitt, nice run at Tennessee
Earle Bruce: Won or shared 4 Big 10 titles, went 81-26.
Donnie Duncan: eventually became "Director of Football Championship" for the B12
Jim Criner: found success in the minor professional leagues where you can be up front about paying players
Jim Walden: Color for Washington State radio
Dan McCarney: assistant for Florida; young enough to take another head coaching job

Since Gene got hired, he therefore will find success like Majors and Bruce. Congrats, Tigers!

Peterclone

Farewell

Since it is a Cyclone football tradition that each new coach gets new uniforms, I wish to state that I will miss these unis. Best ever, period.

Oh, and that sweatshirt you just bought with the new logo on it? Collector's item, since a new logo is part of the new uniform clause.

Artists, start your PhotoShops.

Peterclone

Influence

Whoever Gene has for an agent, I'm signing up. That's one heck of a salesman.

Peterclone

Millions

The best part of pawning off a problem on someone else is all of the millions we save compared to firing a coach that hasn't worked out.

We would have saved some cash had Mac taken the TCU job when it was available, too.

Peterclone

Mulligan

Perhaps we should all look at the Gene years as JP's mulligan.

It looked great on paper, was developing more slowly than we hoped, and now JP gets a do-over.

Peterclone

Differentiation

I've been sitting on this post, unsure of the right time to bring it out.

A sports radio screamer mentioned this in the last month, and I agree: when you can't get the best athletes, you have to have an offensive scheme that is hard for opponents to prepare for on a single week. That's why Purdue did well for much of Tiller's run. Ga Tech was surprising this year running the option in the ACC. Leach has gotten nice mileage out of being unusual.

If I was AD for a day, I would look for:

a. an established coach at some a lower level; non-BCS, Mid-major, I-AA, etc. No more on the job training

b. a coach with success running an unusual offense.

Since the rest of the league has gone pass-happy, perhaps its time to bring back the triple option. Before you run away screaming "Walden!", consider this: Nebraska and Oklahoma were both running the option game when Walden came in, so there wasn't much advantage in the league to being the third.

The triple option would be an advantage now, since it is out of fashion. Just because you know how to defend a system doesn't mean you can install it in a week and make it work.

My $.02.

Peterclone

15-13

Did Gene's tenure peak at 15-13?

Peterclone

Second-Worst Ever

Gene ends his ISU career with a winning percentage of .263.

Only Vince DiFrancesca in 1954-56 was worse: 6-21-1 .232.

So close to being the worst, and yet finished 1-1 vs. the Goblas.

Peterclone

It's Done

CBS confirms Gene to Auburn.

Snark to follow.

Peterclone

Buh-Bye?

KCCI says Gene's the coach at Auburn.

Interesting.

Peterclone

Concern

I still chuckle every time I see a Gobla fan in a "Beat State" shirt. I remember when they didn't care.

Judging by the "announced" crowd 3,000 short of capacity, perhaps the don't.

Peterclone

79

At his present winning pace, Gene will be 79 years old when he gets his 85th coaching victory, the number of wins Tubberville had when he "resigned".

Perhaps Auburn and ISU can trade "failed" coaches even up.

Peterclone

Courtesy

I can't see Gene's interview at Auburn as anything more than a courtesy to a long-time friend. There is no way an AD at a power football school could sell a guy who averages 2.5 wins per year as the answer to what ails them.

I don't blame Gene, either. Coaching 4 star talent has to be more fun than coaching 2 star talent.

Peterclone

El Foldo

It appears the playbook that will defeat the WBB team is effective on the men, too.

Push them around on defense, take away their rhythm, and they are done.

It is frustrating to see the Goblas playing better in year two than our Cyclones in year three. Nothing comes easy for us.

Peterclone

Experience

While both teams tried hard to lose, only one team had enough experience at winning to finally pull it out.

At least we know that 13 point leads are not safe. That sounds like football.

Beat the Goblas.

Peterclone

Falling Short

My household spends a fair pile of cash each month for TV. A downright embarrassing amount in some contexts.

Yet I again can't watch the MBB team.

My inadequacy is again front and center.

Peterclone

Renegade

If Texas beats OSU in their bowl game, I will name the 'Horns the CSJ National Champion. A trophy is on order.

This carries the same weight as the BCS, right?

Peterclone

Seneca

Not a bad day for the clipboard holder.

Not enough to win, but its not like he threw a Pick- 6 to end the game or anything.

Peterclone

Push

The Blago women followed the playbook to beat the ISU women- push them around and be aggressive with teh on-ball pressure. Make the refs blow the whistle. They didn't, ISU never found a rythym offensively and got blown out.

I missed the memo- when did Fennely drop the zone?

The Hy-vee trophy is unlikely now. The "Home Team" keeps winning it. How boring.

Peterclone

Missed Tackles

The worst part of watching the Fennely's bunch play the Goblas on the BTN is watching the missed tackles on the punt return in Iowa City.

That was really a game that got away, and since the BTN can't sell ads, we'll have to be reminded of it a half-dozen more times over the next two hours.

Peterclone

Do's and Don'ts

Do upset the other team's #1 wrestler.

Don't let your #1 be upset.

That's the match, folks.

Peterclone

Boxes

They didn't score a lot, but they did spread the love around.

Peterclone

Clinch

The Goblas can clinch the trophy ISU should never win this weekend.

Wins in wrestling and WBB would require a near-impossible run for ISU to come from behind.

Not that ISU should should ever win, it's still interesting to watch.

I'm always surprised the Goblas play along. It's so beneath them.

Peterclone

The Meet

I hope our Cyclones can leave Iowa City with a win tonight, but I'm never optimistic when wrestling the Goblas.

Cael and crew have shown they can take on anyone and give them everything they want, often winning in tough buildings. But they still show signs of an annoying habit that always bugged me when Douglas was coaching- if the ISU wrestler was better than his opponent, he was aggressive and went for extra points. If he was even or an underdog, he was guarded, tentative, defensive. While the underdog was sometimes able to avoid giving up a pin or major, he never, ever got the upset win. It was great in theory, but often bit the team in practice. The Goblas seem to be the last team the Cyclones wrestle scared against, especially in Iowa City.

With some big underdogs in the Cyclone lineup tonight, I assume we'll see some defensive wrestling.

Peterclone

Our Televised Life

Today is a tough TV day for me.

Can't see ISU play Oregon State- no ESPNU.

Can't watch UNI play football tonight- no Mediacom.

Instead I'm listening to John and Eric while flipping between football games. It funny how quickly you becomes spoiled.

I am weird in that I like listen to sports on the radio. I would prefer to watch, but it isn't the drop off in experience that some believe it to be.

Having a radio team that actually tells you what is going on makes a big difference.

Peterclone

Gambles

I read somewhere that KSU's former coach Ron Prince brought in 19 JUCO's this year, and he had exactly none of them pan out. That will get you fired. It makes sense now.

More than a few JUCOs per class is high risk recruiting, and I'm glad that Gene's staff hasn't dipped into that pool. (I counted 11, mostly seniors; the recruiting geeks will have to tell me which staff brought them in).

Now, if we sign a dozen for next fall, we'll know Gene is putting everything on Red and hoping for the best.

Peterclone

Streaks

I'm not going to complain in any way about the win in Cedar Falls. When you had lost 10 roadies in a row, a win over MOC-Floyd Valley is worth celebrating.

Brackins now has the template for what his game should look like each night. While he won't see single coverage most nights, he needs to become a bit of a Black Hole- you throw the ball to him and start running up the court, because you aren't getting it back: he's gonna score.

It was good to win without the 3, just to prove that it can be done. Dribble penetration will be more valuable.

1 down, 3 to go.

Peterclone

Deck Chair Shuffle

I hope Gene's moves this weekend aren't the Dance To Look Like We're Doing Something. Then again, K-State has raised (or lowered) the bar as far as expected turnaround time. Maybe Gene watched too much of the rookie coach at Georgia Tech dismantling UGa and got suddenly nervous.

Maybe Gene decided to install the triple option after watching that game. Maybe our talent is better geared to that.

As long as it works.

Peterclone

Maly Cheap Shot #742

The Grumpy Old Sportswriter dropped this little nugget at the end of Saturday's post:

But what I also wanted to know was what he studied at Iowa State and when he got his degree -- or if he got a degree.

I also wanted to know what kind of job Hicks had after his education at Iowa State.

No mention of any of that in the Register -- or the Omaha World-Herald, for that matter.

Let me write what you really wanted to write:

What do you expect from a second rate football program at a second rate college like Silo Tech? Nobody who graduates from there finds work, let alone the athletes.

If you are going to make a cheap shot against the dead, just go all the way, OK?

Peterclone

Doormat

Someday I hope to write the B12 North version of this, when there is someone worse than us:

How to Handle Being The Worst Team in the Big XII South:

I wanted to share some thoughts from the hit book "How to Handle Being The Worst Team in the Big XII South". This book, originally authored by fans of Baylor University, with foreword by Oklahoma State, has been a work in progress for 25 something years now.

Now that we have handed that prestigious torch off to your school, and it looks like it will stay that way for quite some time, you and your Aggie friends may want to really get into this material. Here are some highlights:

Chapter 1 - Bring up past records when discussing your program with friends. The best way to do this is to start from the present and go back through the past until you can find where you have more wins than "x" team. Inconsistencies in time frame does not matter - it can be 5 years for one team and 45 for another.

Chapter 3 - Find other parts of your athletic program that you can be proud of and meticulously learn and promote their accomplishments, no matter how embarrassing the sport. Baylor has done this recently with women's basketball, tennis, and most notably, track and field (Olympic gold medalist anyone?). Rumor has it that your men's club lacrosse team is pretty awesome. Just throwing that out there.

Chapter 5 - Find a couple of solid scapegoats and complain tirelessly about them. Your fan base has already advanced far in this area, with "Shermione" and "$Bill" taking the brunt of this effective relaxation technique.

Chapter 10 - Pick a team to hate and root for their failure. For Baylor fans, this has been you, and look how well it's worked! It's like The Secret - the power of positive thinking. It's very refreshing to change the channel from a frustrating loss and watch your sworn enemy fail. You may have to really dig deep here - you want a team that is average to pretty bad. You losing and them winning is a double whammy, so don't set your sites too high (UT/Tech). Arkansas is a good start, they're down this year.

Chapter 11 (THIS IS A BIG ONE) - Focus on moral victories. This chapter has a lot of content, so really pay attention to it. Within the umbrella of the moral victories chapter you'll find subsections such as: a) Don't pin your hopes on winning the game, pin your hopes on covering the spread. The spread is key, and beating the spread will bring you years and years of joy. b) Get excited about first downs. These may be harder to come by than you think, so really cherish them. c) Find remote stats that can highlight your improvement. Really dig into improvement. This should be a buzzword to use in the coming years.

Chapter 12 - Talk about the other redeeming qualities of your school. This is tricky, because it's actually really dorky to engage in academic smack talk, but, if done correctly, can deflect the focus of a conversation away from your school's crappy football program and onto other areas where the playing field is more level. Now, I'm tailor making this to A&M a little here, but I would recommend you focus on your strong engineering and business school reputation, and don't forget to bring up your various traditions! People never get tired of hearing about this.

Chapter 14** - Find another school to support on the side. This chapter is very controversial and was only added in later editions. I myself never went down this road, but several of my friends found a great deal of relaxation and comfort in finding a side school. While immediate family connections are the best (father graduated from Penn State or mom and dad met at Florida), it is also valid to dig deep into your family's history to find that great aunt that went to Alabama or that second cousin who got a masters at USC. The further away the school, the better. Claim that you have been watching them for years, especially as a little kid growing up. This helps ward off eye rolls and front-runner accusations from your friends. **Note: though highly successful, this chapter can be very dangerous, and is probably the only method that will incur hatred from fellow alumni and students. Use Chapter 14 at your own risk. Advanced students only. I'd say you'll be there en mass around 2013, although seeing how your fan base is bailing after 3 losing seasons out of the past 24, you may be there as early as 2010. Talk about advanced students!

That's it folks. I'll send you a copy for free - we're so excited to share this with a team not named Baylor. And you may read this and think: "Wow, Baylor is pathetic. This is really sad stuff." No, no! This is you! This WAS Baylor and now IS your school! I'm talking about what you and your fan base will be and have already started saying and doing.

I want to leave you with this. This can be your chance to practice, right now. Skim some of the material above, and go ahead and start using it on me. I would say the record route is the obvious way to go, but don't be afraid to be creative. Angry phrases like "F off" and total dismissal of my thread also work. Have fun, and I'll critique some of your responses as we go . . .

Good stuff, and dangerously true.

Peterclone

Boring Games

Whaddya do when your team is up 55-0?

Find some action that isn't your spouse.

I'll let you finish the joke.

Peterclone

Typical

My Dad always said you've got nobody to blame but yourself if you let a game come down to a questionable call by the guy in stripes.

That's exactly what happened against Hawai'i.

A tip 'o the hat to the Register for sending their coorespondent all the way to Ames to watch the webcast with Iowa State staff.

I guess the Rag didn't want to pony up the $6 so Rick could watch at the office, or at home for that matter.

You don't want to set the precident that your writers don't have to attend the event in order to write it up.

Peterclone

Tackling

Watching the Tech-OU game has reminded me that one key to good defense is good tackling. As in the first to arrive seals the deal. As in what rarely happened this year for ISU.

Pressure on the QB seems to throw offenses out of whack, too.

I hope someone notices that as they review tape from this year.

Peterclone

Development

The Goblas are consistent if nothing else: they either improve during the season or get worse, no in between.

To think that the on-the-verge-of-bad team that squeeked by bad-and-about-to-get-worse Iowa State in September is taking the wood to a Gopher team that a month ago looked to be all that and a bag a chips, but now is, uhm, stinky is a little odd. The Goblas had 4-8 written all over themselves even after the ISU win.

Sorry, Gobla fan, it's not a "hangover" if your team isn't any good before a loss. Congrats on the nice finish- your self esteem was starting to lag.

Peterclone

Stats

Some really nice 3 point shooting analysis at Clone Chronicles.

The kind of stuff I love digging through, but seldom have time to do myself.

Peterclone

Standards

So, all you fans who insisted keeping Danny Mac was "settling for mediocrity", how's your return on this investment?

More importantly, how patient are you willing to be?

DM needed six seasons to win. Will Gene get that?

KSU canned Prince after 17 losses in three years, yet Gene has 19 in only two. On the other end, Robinson of Syracuse delivered consecutive 10-loss seasons, yet wasn't fired until this year's 9-loss stinker. That might be too patient.

So, mediocrity-haters, is next year Gene's Show Or Go? What's the minimum for wins? 4? 5? 7? What wouldn't be mediocre?

Personally, I don't mind losing on Saturday when you think you have a chance of winning on Friday. We don't have that right now.

Peterclone

Done

Two years into the Gene Experiment and we sit at a total of 5 wins, two in conference, worst in the league. I suppose there is some symmetry to the team with the smallest budget also having the fewest wins.

It was nice seeing the offense score on their red zone opportunities: 5/6 which would have won the Gobla game going away- and continued improvement gives one hope for '09.

The defensive side, however, needs some work, to say the least. Until bad offenses stop looking like BCS candidates against our Cyclones, The Gene Project will still be considered a failure.

You have limited nickels, fellas. Use them wisely.

Peterclone

Last Shot

Given the level of play last week in Boulder, and the level of play from KSU the last six weeks, sure, Iowa State can break a couple of streaks this weekend.

I doubt Prince had enough time to build up referee good will like Mac did, not that the Mizzou hold wasn't really a hold. Good will helped that day.

But I assume that the K State players will pull a "win one for the Gipper" bit, though, and ISU's struggles will continue into next year.

Peterclone

Memories

My failing memory is trying to convince me that once upon a time a bad Iowa State football team had a player almost win the Heisman.

I find that hard to believe. Only players from programs that GameDay travels to are eligible, correct? I'm sure that clause is in the fine print.

Peterclone

Bright Side

The good news of this lousy football season is that we'll be able to rebuild with all the awesome draft picks we'll get in exchange for finishing last.

Peterclone

Nickname Proposal

In the fine tradition of the Sheldon High School Orabs I propose future refernces of the athletic clubs from Iowa City be referred to as:

"The Goblas"

Objections?

Hearing none, motion carries.

Goblas it is.

Of course, our Clonies will lovingly be referred to as "The Cargos".

Peterclone

Potential

Rick Brown sees potential.

My dad always said having potential means you aren't worth a damn right now, but perhaps the 08-09 sports season won't be a total wash.

Peterclone

Antsy

I'm a long, long way from the situation in Manhattan, but I'm not sure 30 games is a fair test period for a coach in rebuilding mode.

Snyder's last team was bad- I mean, ISU made them look JV, and that's bad- so it looked like the classic "empty cupboard" situation.

Unless there is a Wayne Morgan Inmates-Running-The-Asylum scene, I am really leary of expending the time, trouble, trauma and treasure involved in firing a coach in less than four or preferrably five years. The odds of having a dramatic turnaround are pretty low. Look at the Big 12 North the last five years.

On the other hand, Napoleon advised: "Never interrupt an opponent in the middle of a mistake."

Fire away, you antsy Wildcats!

Peterclone

We're Too Nice

Gene would have been fired by now if he was coaching at K-State and not I-State.

Peterclone

Pull The Trigger

Clearly, KF needs to be fired. Trust the Wisdom Of The Crowd!

At least Kirk saved us from another Big TenEleven school boring us on National Championship Night. with yet another blowout.

Clearly, his program is in decline.

Peterclone

Typical

Bad teams find a way to lose.

Peterclone

Boulder

I vividly remember the last ISU win in Boulder. I had been in Iowa City that day, witnessing what was expected to be a Northwestern win that was instead an Iowa upset. Iowa played with heart, and NW sinply didn't get off the bus. Observers point to that game as the beginning of the ascention of KF's program.

Driving home I listened to Sage Rosenfels lead the Cyclones through the snow to a win that would lead to that memorable trip to Phoenix for everyone. It would also be the peak of the Danny Mac adminestration, we just didn't knwo it yet.

Needless to say, a win over the Buffaloes would turn the opinions of the Cyclone crowd back into Gene's corner, just as last year's win over the Buffs solidified the feeling that things were headed in the right direction.

If the horrid road losing streak was to die, this week is as good a place as any on the horizon. Perhaps the team has something they can literally leave on the field if they win. Symbolism can be both corny and effective.

Peterclone

Bad

How bad are our Cyclones?

According to Sagarin, ISU is worse than any team in the ACC, SEC, Big Ten and the Big East.

Take heart, we're barely better than Washington and WSU.

If Gene turns things around, perhaps this can be the "Look how far we've come" landmark.

Peterclone

Memories

Around this time in 2005, ISU beat Okie State in Ames 37-10. I recall the score being closer than the game was in reality. Mike Gundy was in his first season as head coach.

ISU returns the favor this week with the roles reversed. I suspect the margin will be more than 27 points.

Circumstances change. Having a Daddy Warbucks in your fan base doesn't hurt.

Peterclone

Bright Side

At least we didn't fire a coach who was inconsistent only to hire a new guy, pay him more, and get worse results.

Oh, wait.

Perhaps there really is a correlation to having the smallest football budget in the league and not being able to win games. Crazy facts.

Peterclone

Reality Check

To put things in perspective, UNLV is now 0-4 in the MWC, and Kent State is 1-4 in the MAC.

That should keep us from getting too full of ourselves.

Peterclone

Missed Opportunities

My TeeVee kept telling me all day that Minny won their seventh game today.

According to Sagarin, they've played a similar schedule to our Cyclones. Except they find ways to beat their opponents.

I'm just hoping that we aren't cutting a single corner, and the Gophers are cutting all of them.

Peterclone

Losses

ISU had 8 plays for a loss or no gain.

a$m only had three, not counting taking a knee at the end.

And a$m isn't good.

Peterclone

WAC

Watching the B12 games today made me think I was watching tapes of the WAC, circa '86.

In six games today, the league averaged 70 points scored. Yikes.

It does make great TV.

Peterclone